Are you recently divorced, widowed or on your own for the first time and trying to figure who you are and what makes you feel good?

1. Being scared is a natural part of the process.

* Don’t let being afraid scare you. Anytime you do something for the first time it is daunting. * The process of [...]]]>  

Are you recently divorced, widowed or on your own for the first time and trying to figure who you are and what makes you feel good?

1. Being scared is a natural part of the process.

* Don’t let being afraid scare you. Anytime you do something for the first time it is daunting.
* The process of getting to know your Self – possibly for the first time – can be overwhelming.
* In the past, you have most likely defined yourself by being with someone else. Now it is just you that needs to be pleased.

2. Acknowledging and accepting the fear allows you to be brave.

* What’s the big deal? So what if this is the beginning of the process – at least you are beginning and it can only get better from here.
* Real bravery is only possible when you are scared, otherwise, what we call bravery is really machismo.
* Feeling scared but doing it anyway will give you self-esteem and self-respect. We feel this way every time we do something that initially scared us.

3. This is a perfect opportunity to try new things.

* Experiment. Put everything into the practice category.
* A woman stopped a man on the street in Manhattan and asked him, “How can I get to Carnegie Hall?’ “Practice, practice, practice”, said the man.
* How can we figure out what we like, what works for us, unless we try different things?

4. Give yourself permission to not know for a while. No one’s keeping score.

* Cut yourself some slack. Getting to know your Self takes some time.
* It is a process that happens in the moment and incrementally. Sometimes we immediately know what works and other times the more we do something, the better it feels.
* Allow the process to unfold naturally and don’t be impatient.

5. You know what you want by knowing what you don’t want.

* Do you know the difference between a road map and a boat map? A road map tells you where to go but a boat map tells you where not to go.
* Sometimes we learn who we are through a process of elimination – not this, not this.
* The only real mistake is sitting this one out, not participating. Surrender to the process and have fun exploring.

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